It's taken me much longer than usual to write this column, especially since it's for something as simple as a new DVD release. However, there really is nothing quite so simple when dealing with The Secrets Of Isis.
Way back in the mid-seventies(1975 to be exact), the world was indeed a simpler place. Crime wasn't quite as rampant in some areas as it is today. Many drugs and diseases which are present now didn't exist then. While there was racial strife, it seemed we somehow got along better then, before political correctness was forced upon us. It was a simpler time, full of simpler shows which existed not to push envelopes, but simply to entertain.
And reigning the Saturday morning landscape of kids' shows was The Secret of Isis.
"'Oh my Queen,' Said the royal sorceror to Hatshepsut, 'With this amulet, you and your descendants are endowed by the god-dess Isis. With the powers of the animals and the elements. You will soar as the falcon soars! Run with the speed of gazelles! And command the elements of sky and earth!'
"Three thousand years later, a young science teacher dug up this lost treasure and found she was heir to...the secrets of Isis! And so, unknown to even her closest friends--Rick Mason and Cindy Lee--she became a dual person; Andrea Thomas, teacher...and Isis! Dedicated foe of evil, defender of the weak, champion of truth and justice!"
Isis was the first tv superheroine who was an original creation, not springing from the pages of a comic book. Filmation Studios wanted an original character they could own outright, rather than have to pay licensing royalties to DC Comics, as they had to in order to broadcast Isis' companion show, Shazam! which starred Superman ripoff Captain Marvel. Isis possessed numerous magical powers, including telekinesis, the ability to stop time and motion, the power of flight(aided by the Zephyr winds--"Oh Zephyr winds which blow on high, lift me now so I can fly!"), above average strength, and the power to communicate with certain animals tele-pathically, among others.
Like many Saturday morning shows, Isis(the show was often called The Secrets of Isis, although the singular title was what was shown onscreen) dealt in morals: don't hitchhike, guns are danger-ous, it's always better to tell the truth, and so on. Each show would end with Isis talking to the audience about what moral had been learned that episode. Isis was also a more progressive show than most people realize. In an era where the Civil Rights Movement was still going strong and not all men were yet realized as being created equal, the role of head school administrator Doctor Joshua Barnes was played by black character actor Albert Reed. Joanna Pang played high school student/teacher's aide Cindy Lee, who was con-sidered by her white instructors to be something of an equal. There was the episode "Year of the Dragon", which taught folks there's nothing at all to be ashamed of by one's own cultural heritage or their parents'.
Of course, the real secret of Isis was not how cheesy the effects were, or how someone couldn't die of embarrassment by dressing in a bear or ape suit in order to play a menacing creature, or even the fact the show was shot on a tassle budget as opposed to a full shoestring...the real secret of Isis was the hypnotic hold lead act-ress Joanna Cameron had over her male audience...which actually consisted of more adult males than kids.
Joanna Cameron was an actress unique to the '70's-80's era. She had roles in several moderately well-known productions includ-ing B.S. I Love You and the original live action tv show Spider-Man. She was actually very talented, but sadly, she didn't have that certain -oomph!-(at least by Hollywood standards) that gets one noticed in Tinseltown. She didn't have enormous fake boobs, she didn't have the curves of a Farrah Fawcett or Marilyn Monroe. She didn't sleep around to get her roles. All she had was raw talent and by all accounts, an exceptionally pleasant demeanor...and unfortu-nately, those usually aren't enough to make it to the big time. Her most famous role, it turns out, would be on nothing more than a Saturday morning kids' show...
And because of that, she became a true goddess and ultimate fantasy figure to young(and old) males around the country, and has remained that way for more than thirty years.
As Isis' alter ego, high school science teacher Andrea Thomas, Joanna Cameron was the smart, kind, sexy teacher every boy in America always dreamed of having. The kind who had that secret knowledge, the kind that might keep you after class and punish you in the best way. But when Ms. Thomas said her magic incantation--"O Mighty Isis!"--and tranformed into a superheroine clad in a faux tennis outfit replete with egyptian jewelry, bracelets and go-go boots(Homer Simpson voice: Mmmm, Isis go-go boots... hhhhaaarrrrgggghhh....), she became an immediate Puberty Activ-ation Kit, a "why have you been in the bathroom so long?" question your wife, girlfriend or mom would ask every Saturday when the show was over...a true sex symbol.
As much as I still love Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, Isis was there first. I was about 9 years old when that show first came on. Like thousands of other kids watching, I knew there was something I wanted to do with Isis, but at the time I just didn't know what. Watching the newly released DVD set, and now being old enough to truly appreciate Cameron's beauty, I now know exactly what it was.
I've spoken to some guys I know who own the new Secrets of Isis DVD set. They've watched every episode, and yet can't remember one damn detail of any of the stories...all they can remember is Joanna Cameron. They can tell you exactly which epi-sodes have some "accidental" Isis upskirt, how far into the episode Joanna Cameron herself appears or changes into Isis...but ask for even the most minute detail of what the story was actually about, and they're lost. There were plenty of '70's names who made appearances on the show: Mike Lookinland (Bobby from The Brady Bunch), Barry Miller who would go on to Saturday Night Fever and Laurette Spang from the original Battlestar Galactica. And Joanna Pang as Cindy Lee was no slouch in the beauty department her-self...but until I viewed the DVDs recently, I had forgotten any of them had even existed.
But enough of the soft-core reminiscing...The Secrets of Isis works however you'd like it to. It's a slice of Americana, it's a trip down memory lane to cuss-free dialogue like "you turkey", "cool cat" and other innocent catchphrases. It's high camp, almost on par with the '60's Batman tv show, as complete with its own in-joke cliches as Robin saying "Holy--(fill in the blank)". In the first four or five episodes alone, people get trapped in situations even Special Needs kids wouldn't, usually via a twisted ankle, or a trapped ankle, or an ankle inserted some darn place it shouldn't be. The California town where the show takes place is unnamed, with seemingly only one police car. One guy armed with a two-by-four with a nail in the end could take over the place, so I guess they need a being with the powers of a goddess to look after them.
Even for a kids' show with part of the focus on action, the epi-sodes are surprisingly violence free, which in this era is a nice change of pace. In fact, out of all twenty-two episodes, I can only remember one dust-up between two people. The third and last of the discs contain as many of the ending morals as could be found, although their quality obviously comes straight from videotape. However, upon viewing them one can see how more-or-less innocent a time it was, and are truly worth it for the historical value. They are also worthy of possessing because they still resonate even today: Don't hate people because they're different. Guns are dangerous, so kids shouldn't play with them. Don't tease other people who don't speak your language. Death is a natural part of life.
Important stuff. People should pay attention.
There are also interviews on the third disc: one with Joanna Pang and another with Brian Cutler, as well as producers and writers and others. Unfortunately there are none with Joanna Cam-eron, the main star. There's a couple of possible reasons for this. One is that Ms. Cameron was not offered enough money to do the interview, which is highly plausible. After all, she has retired from acting and now lives her own life. If someone wants her to speak about Isis, particularly on a DVD which has sold exceptionally well since its debut, she deserves financial compensation for it. The other reason is the true secret of Isis, which I was originally going to write about. Regular visitors to this site will remember that I even had a preliminary page up for a while, titled The Real Secret of Isis. Although I do possess the knowledge of what this other possible reason for the show being cancelled at the height of its popularity as the #1 show in syndication might have been, I've chosen not to reveal it.
Let me tell you why.
As we all know, the world has become a much more frightening, dangerous place than it used to be. If we don't have to worry about our own children going insane and killing other kids, then we have to worry about whether some unknown madman will choose to fly a plane into a building. The world was never really as innocent as we like to think it was; not in the 40's, the 50's, or even the '70's. It was different, it was a little bit saner...but it was never fully innocent. On 9/11/01, whatever innocence we had left was finally taken away from us. Forever.
As I said, Joanna Cameron has retired from the spotlight. She now manages hotels in Hawaii, and from all accounts is still a very decent person. And unlike many celebrities today, she has a genu-ine respect and love for her fans. She is the living embodiment of everything a celebrity-as-human should be, and out of respect for the person she is, I will not divulge what is purported as truth, but all evidence suggests it is more than likely myth. Like I said, I'll always love Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, but Isis was there first...
And you never betray your first love.
Official Archives of LanceReviews...
DVD Review: The Secrets of Isis
Something satisfying to own, rather than giving cash to the Box Office Overlords...
The Secrets of Isis: A non-classic from the '70's regains some mythic status in its new DVD release.
The cast of that original '70's show: Joanna Cameron, Brian Cutler and Joanna Pang.
The often forgotten fourth member of the cast: Albert Reed as Dr. Joshua Barnes...a progressive character for the time.
One of the original print ads for the series.
"Hey, Cindy--don't you think Isis really looks a lot like Ms. Thomas?"
"You know, Rick...you're right! She sure does!"
"Shut up."
Isis with her sidekick, Tut. In real life, Joanna Cameron hated that bird.
Joanna Cameron as Isis: A goddess from now until the sun sets.
