Rush Hour 3 has just opened, and if there's any justice at all to be found in this world, it will close almost immediately.
Aside from director Brett Ratner(the lackluster X-Men 3) and his usual gang of accomplices, if there is any specific target on which to blame the existence of this movie, then blame the creators of the movie 48 hours. Back in 1983, Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte struck box office gold by pairing for a shoot-'em-up/chase movie about a convict and a cop who team up to catch a pair of ice-blooded killers. There was action, violence and quips aplenty to be found in this seminal work, which quickly spawned a whole genre of "buddy" pictures, otherwise known(due to the pairing of a white man with a black) as "salt and pepper" flicks. All of these pictures, almost without exception, were pale imitations of 48 hours and eventually even Nolte and Murphy ended up uninten-tionally parodying themselves in Another 48 hours.
One of the more appealing--if less realistic and believable--entries into this genre of film was the original Rush Hour, which teamed staid Chinese Chief Inspector Lee(Jackie Chan) with smart-mouthed Detective James Carter(Chris Tucker). I have to admit that while not exactly a fan of this series, I found Rush Hour 2 to be far more enjoyable...due to the formidable presence of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's Zhang Ziyi rather than the other two leads. From the first time I saw him in The Fifth Element, I've found Chris Tucker and his balls-in-a-vice voice to be infinitely annoying. And while it's always a pleasure to watch master stunt-man/martial artist Jackie Chan at work, I keep getting the feeling he must have better things to do with his time.
Unfortunately, both Tucker and Chan decided to cash a paycheck once again for Rush Hour 3, a nonsensical mess which I can only assume unintentionally leaves plot threads dangling at its conclusion. As usual, I'll attempt to give a review as spoiler free as possible, just in case folks decide to ignore the sign reading Abandon Hope All Who Enter, and go see it anyway. You know how it is: you tell little Tommy to not put that just-polished, shiny gun in his mouth...then before you can say "blammo!" you're cleaning up brain tissue.
The movie opens with Carter directing traffic, while Lee escorts a Chinese diplomat to the World Criminal Court, where he will reveal pertinent information that may lead to a way to finally bring down the Chinese Triads, whose criminal activities grow bolder across the planet each day. The diplomat is targeted and shot by a lone assassin, and the chase leads to both the revelation that Lee knows the shooter, Kenji (Hiroyuki Sanada from Sunshine...what is it with this poor guy being stuck in two craptacular movies this year?) and the reunion between Lee and Carter, when the latter becomes aware of the pursuit. Kenji escapes, but upon the targeting of the diplomat's daughter(Soo Yung) and at the urging of WCC councilman Varden Reynard(Max von Sydow), the two cops buddy up and head to Paris to investigate and hopefully obtain the information needed to bring down the Triads.
Immediately upon touching down in Paris, Lee and Carter are detain-ed and "inspected" by French detective Revi. Casting formerly respected filmmaker(Rosemary's Baby, Chinatown) and now notorious rapist/fugi-tive coward Roman Polanski as Revi might have seemed like a cute in-joke due to the nature of his "intrusion", but it is actually quite appalling. The "inspection scene" is also a sad sign as to how much further we have to sink in the muck of writer Jeff Nathanson's "storytelling".
Shortly after escaping Polanski's clutches, Lee and Carter head first to a hotel where Lee is set upon by a vicious femme fatale(Youki Kudoh) working for the Triads, and then to a dojo for a truly unfunny set piece involving a towering martial arts student. In between Chris Tucker's senseless and rambling wisecracks, the audience does have the pleasure of watching stuntman supreme Chan put his skills on display. It's a wonder that at the age of 53, Chan still does his own stunts--and Ratner's camera makes sure to allow us to see it is Chan--while so many actors less than half Chan's age worry they'll muss their hair or break a nail, rather than taking the figurative plunge. Along the lines of people close to Chan's age doing their stunts...do I believe reports from the set of the new Indiana Jones film that Harrison Ford is doing his own stunts? No. Do I believe it when I see Chan do his own work? Absolutely. Over the course of his career, Jackie Chan has broken nearly every single bone in his body, and thus has nothing left to prove. He is a living dare-devil who still climbs buildings, leaps up into door frames and skitters about with the grace of a spider monkey.
Chris Tucker, on the other hand, hasn't had a role in the six years since the end credits rolled on Rush Hour 2. The new film luckily intro-duces other characters, each of whom are more enjoyable to watch than Tucker's character Carter any day of the week. There's Genevieve (Noemie Lenoir), Carter's love interest and who has ties to the Triad. Even Kenji, the Asian leader of the Triad's French branch, is a study in duality. Surprisingly, the most likeable person in the film(aside from Chan) is French cabbie George(Yvan Attai), a devout spouter of anti-American sentiment who initially gets reluctantly dragged along with the two cops. However, after his first car chase and shootout involving the Triad thugs, develops a taste for the thrill of danger, and enthusiastically tells the cops "I finally understand!" why we're all so drawn to guns and violence. Every scene with George is a gem, and I found myself wishing I was watching a movie about him, perhaps guest-starring Chan and Tucker(okay, well, not Tucker) instead of the flick with which I was stuck.
Part of the problem with Rush Hour 3, like so many recent films, is that it goes for obvious casting in certain roles. When you see a picture with Orlando Bloom, for instance, you know he's going to be a good guy. In that same manner, following his villainous turn in Minority Report, you can expect now that when Max von Sydow is cast, he more than likely will be a bad guy--and more than likely on the down-low, so that our heroes don't suspect him. In this case, Brett Ratner and his obvious direction don't fail to come through.
There are "surprise" personal connections between a few of the char-acters in the film, and unless you've never seen a movie before in your life, you'll see them telegraphed by Ratner long before they arrive. I'm not usually against an actor finding work, but if this is the last Rush Hour(and if there isn't another one after this, then no one can dispute that there is a God), hopefully Chris Tucker will hang up his girly voice and retire from acting. Jackie can continue if he wants, and bless him for it... but there's just no excuse for us to ever have to endure another pairing of these two.
Official Archives of LanceReviews...
Rush Hour 3
(Let's just stop now, 'cause it's already too late!)
Tucker and Chan are back! And God help us all!
Usually an unruly audience member is thrown out of the theater...not the stars of the movie itself!
This could very well be Noemie Lenoir's future, after being trapped in this movie.
"I'm getting too old for this shtick!"
"I'd like to report a crime committed by a movie against its audience."
Youki Kudoh attempts to escape from this movie any way she can.
