SHOOT 'EM UP
The biggest rock 'n' roll gun movie EVER!
I have to admit, I never saw the appeal of Clive Owen. He's a decent enough actor, and I liked him in King Arthur and The Bourne Identity, although admittedly there wasn't much to the latter role of assassin. I have nothing against the man personally, but like cheese on french fries, I just never quite understood the appeal of him.
Having just seen Shoot 'Em Up however, I finally understand why a lot of folks would like to see him as James Bond.
Let me be absolutely plain about this: Shoot 'Em Up is an out-rageous, unbelievable, preposterous action film, which is as over-the-top in its set pieces and mayhem as you're ever likely to see. Somehow though, director Michael Davis wrings some genuine entertainment out of all the preposterousness and makes the film work.
In a nutshell: Mr. Smith(Clive Owen) is hanging out one night waiting for a bus, minding his own business, when a frightened pregnant woman runs by. He pays her little mind, until a car comes careening around a corner and out jumps a man with a gun, intent on killing her. His sense of decency getting the best of him, Smith follows the man and kills him--with a carrot!--before he can harm the woman. Smith always manages to have some carrots on him you see, since as he says, "They're good for the eyes". First of all, yes...the obligatory Bugs Bunny line is tossed out quickly in the film, as if director Davis is saying, "Yeah, you know it's coming, here it is, let's all move on." Secondly, there's a scene later on where if you think about it, apparently the power of carrots gives Smith the ability to suddenly see something which he would otherwise have over-looked. Don't worry, this all works, I promise you.
Before Smith can get the woman to focus enough to tell him why the man wanted her killed, more bad guys find them, and a gunfight ensues in which Smith is forced to defend himself while simultane-ously helping the woman birth her child! At this point, I realized this movie wasn't about to really take itself seriously for one second, and so I switched off the logic portion of my brain and decided to accept it. It helped...a lot.
There are many times when I question why actors take certain roles. The most common joke my friends and I make is that so-and-so obviously had a gas or phone bill to pay. With someone of Daniel Baldwin's limited acting ability, it's understandable. But with someone of Clive Owens' or Paul Giamatti's range, it's not. And given the pedi-gree of Michael Davis' film resume thus far(100 Girls, Prehysteria 2 & 3, Monster Man), I can't imagine any star in Hollywood(not even Carrot Top) calling their agent and demanding they secure a part for them in one of his films. Owen, Giamatti and the impossibly stunning Monica Bellucci must have seen something on the printed page that wouldn't be evident to you or I, but which told them, "I gotta get in on this!"
Shoot 'Em Up is clearly inspired by Tarantino, John Woo and a host of other master action film directors who trade regularly in the intricate craft of ballet and bullets. The credit for original music for this flick is given to composer Paul Haslinger(Vacany, Turistas, Into The Blue), but honestly I couldnt' tell if there even was any film scor-ing, since much like Tarantino's movies, there are wall-to-wall songs playing. Though as where Tarantino prefers obscure classics, Davis' film is populated with monster rock. The movie itself is mostly Pulp Fictionesque in its revelry of gunplay and chance happenstance which somehow always seems to work out best for the hero. It is equally at home cribbing scenes from both the James Bond film Moonraker, where Bond is pushed out of a plane without a para-chute, and Robert Rodriguez' classic Desperado, wherein the hero and his lady make love while gunmen wait outside, and one-upping them both--especially the latter--by having the couple continue to do the deed all while Owen's Smith blows each intruder away. But I'm getting ahead of myself...
Smith manages to kill all the men, although the mother herself is fatally shot. More gunmen--led by their boss, Mr. Hertz(Giamatti)--are on the way, but something about the infant's crying and its complete helplessness, triggers a protective instinct in Smith. No matter how many men he's just dispatched, Smith has a conscience to some degree, and takes the baby with him. It's a fun escape, which includes some amusing wordplay with a shot-out sign. Smith takes the baby to a whorehouse, where he attempts to saddle lactating hooker Donna Quintano(Monica Bellucci) with the child, hoping she'll at least nurse it, if not care for it outright. She refuses at first, but after a visit from Mr. Hertz and undergoing some brief introduction to how cruel his methods are before being rescued by Smith, she agrees. The trio--surrogate mommy and daddy, along with pseudo-junior--make their way to a gunshop so Smith can stock up, steal a car for transport, then do their best to find out why in the world so many armed men want to kill a baby.
Much has been made by other critics of how much the final expla-nation for this chase makes little sense or is just flat-out ridiculous. I have to say to them: What do you want or expect from a movie like this? It ain't rocket science, it sure as hell isn't Yeates! From its opening title sequence to its final credits(which incidentally are more Bond-like in their design than those of the recent Casino Royale audiences had to suffer through), Shoot 'Em Up is a blatant love sonnet to the power of the gun. It takes itself only seriously enough to inform the audience that the stakes(the baby) are real, that people who get shot usually end up dying, and other than that, sit back and eat some damn popcorn while you soak up the eye-candy(bullets and Bellucci).
The only real quibble I have with the film is its use of the baby (played by twins Sidney Mende-Gibson and Lucas Mende-Gibson) as a plot device. I understand consciously that a child in danger is a powerful motivating tool for someone to use all their wits to survive and protect it...however, through all the car chases, gunplay and acrobatics Smith goes through(while carrying the child, mind you), subconsciously I was displeased with the execution. Yes, of course I know they didn't use a real baby for all of these scenes. However, with all the time given to showing off the intricacy of Smith's trap-lay-ing, baiting and clever means of defense and escape, I feel director Davis could've taken a couple more passes at the script(which he wrote) to develop more clever ways for Smith to actually keep little Oliver(Smith and Donna dub him this) alive. No matter how much you might enjoy this film, your conscious mind will be reminding you that newborn babies are the most fragile things on Earth, and cannot survive the stunts pulled off by Smith. Even the first feat, where Smith must leap from a rooftop through a window in an adjacent building with Oliver wrapped in his arms, would never work. I don't care if you're the f'-ing Batman, it ain't gonna happen. There are times in the film where Oliver is carried about with all the casualness with which one would carry a tote bag.
Aside from this one personal dislike, I have to say that like the much-maligned--but still a hell of a lot of dumb fun--Snakes On A Plane, Shoot 'Em Up delivers on its title. You can't expect to go in and see a heartwarming love story about a man who finds himself again(well, actually...this does sort-of happen. Although it's not really heartwarming. It just sort of happens). Anyway...if you go, and you're capable of turning off the logic portion of your brain which will want to scream "There's no way, there's no way, there's no way!" you will enjoy yourself. The story appears threadbare, but there's more to it than meets the eye. It's established that Mr. Smith does have some type of past, although we're only given hints into what it might have been, which was a smart choice on Davis' part. And if you listen very closely to Owen and Bellucci during one of their scenes with the baby, you'll get a clue as to what Smith's real name is. Go, have fun...
But eat your carrots first. You might need them.
This model comes equipped with dual airbags to absorb impact. (Oh, stop it! Like you weren't thinking the exact same thing!)
More bang for the buck: Clive Owen plays a man with a shrouded past, who risks his life to save a newborn baby.
Baby momma: Monica Bellucci plays surrogate mom to an infant dealt a cruel hand by fate.
Face off: Paul Giamatti wants the baby; Clive Owen doesn't want him to have it. Guess who wins this round?.
Of babies, babes and bullets: Mr. Smith(Owen) and happy hooker Donna(Bellucci) learn to bond while safe-guarding the baby fate sent their way.
"And after this, I'm going after M. Night Shyamalan for what he almost did to my career with 'Lady in the Water'!"
God saw fit to bless Monica Bellucci with a great bounty. Director Davis sees fit to allow us to gaze upon said bounty in a couple of scenes in all their unfettered awe.
